Editor’s note: Astraware recently released Insaniquarium Deluxe. It’s a revamped version of an old classic, and it’s the only aquarium game I can think of where your fish-raising efforts take a backseat to fending off alien attacks. When Astraware approached us about doing a review, I had an idea. Since we have more writers and readers using a greater variety of devices than ever at JAMM, we could cover more than one version of the game.

But instead of writing separate reviews for the same game on Palm and Windows Mobile, why not set up a conversation between a user from each? Besides, hardly any two people play a game the same way, and I thought it would be fun to compare notes. Heather and her Palm Centro got on board with me and my Axim x51v, and we let loose. Heather’s comments are in black below, and mine are in blue.

Let us know how you like this kind of review. We sure had fun writing it!

Lauren: Why would killer creatures from outer space invade an aquarium? I mean, don’t they have anything better to do? What do the aliens have against the cute guppies, anyway?

Heather: I’m not sure why aliens need to kill little fish. They are innocent! Must be pretty boring in space.

Lauren: The aliens have got to be pretty tiny to fit into the tank. Hee!

Heather: I didn’t think about the alien size, that is true.

Lauren: That’s it! A size inferiority complex.

Heather: Must be. Plus, I also think they are mad that they don’t have any legs.

Lauren: Killer aquatic alien midget paraplegics.

Heather: I think Spielberg is working on that movie right now.

Lauren: So, what’d you think?

Heather: I’ve had a lot of fun….fish everywhere…collecting money and feeding them…and figuring out what kills them!

Lauren: What tank are you on?

Heather: I’m on level/tank 2.

Lauren: I had insomnia last night so I made it a little further.

Heather: I tried the timed game, but that’s not as fun as the adventure.

Lauren: I’ve only played adventure, what’s timed like?

Heather: The timed is the same as the adventure, but with a time limit. You are trying to max out your money, but you can use the pets you earned from the adventure side of things. Did you finish the game?

Lauren: I met and finally managed to kick the Evil Mastermind Boss Alien’s midget tail, and let’s just say thank goodness for screen protectors.

Heather: I didn’t even think about screen damage. Good thing I have that Verizon warranty.

Lauren: The Centro’s screen is pretty tough.

Heather: I think that the gaming experience really requires you to have a touchscreen device.

Lauren: It really does make good use of the touchscreen. I think a stylus is necessary for control, though.

Heather: Definitely. I should give it a try with my fingers to see what happens, but the screen is too small.

Lauren: One more advantage of Palm and Windows Mobile over the iPhone — they can’t play Insaniquarium!

Heather: Very true!!! Take that, iPhone!!!

Lauren: Did you feel like the Centro’s screen was big enough? The Axim has a massive screen, so you had a different experience there.

Heather: I had no issues with screen size at all. The only thing I did was hit the menu button, but I think that was due to my crazy stylus tapping. How do you play on WM without tapping the screen?

Lauren: No clue how the smartphone version works [Edit: With grids, apparently]. I’ve been playing on the Axim and can’t imagine not using a touchscreen! Do you use the stylus on the Centro?

Heather: I use the stylus for sure. Although the one problem I run into is that I’m tapping so wildly that I keep hitting the menu button in the lower right hand corner.

Lauren: I did that a few times too! Once I actually quit the game by accident. Thank goodness for autosave.

Heather: I am a big fan of the autosave. For the game overall, the only thing I would change is that menu button placement and maybe add a list of what everything is supposed to do.

Lauren: Figuring out what things do is part of the fun. It took me ages to clue in that the thing that looks like either a drill or a hair dryer is actually a better alien-zapping laser.

Heather: I’ve started by adding a few extra fish to get enough money to get the food upgrade. I find its hard to keep a lot of fish alive with the original food. So, I max out the food quality upgrade, and add the ability to drop more food. Once I get to that point, it’s time for lots and lots of fish! I was using the “scatter food all over the place like a blanket” approach when I had too many, which was fun.

Lauren: Me too. It was like a fish food carpet bombing. My problem is that if I add fish too soon, I run out of money and they starve.

Heather: I didn’t even realize that the food cost money to drop until the timed game. The first time playing, I killed a bunch of fish. That’s just bad karma.

Lauren: I guess that’s where the gold-dropping skeleton comes in handy.

Heather: The skeleton and the oyster are very handy.

Lauren: The problem is, they’re not so useful once the tank gets going, so none of my three-pet lineup are money droppers. So since I don’t have any money coming in until my fish grow up a little, I just hang on until I can get the food quality and quantity bumped up. Then it’s time to fill the tank!

Heather: I’m trying to figure out the best pets to use. I have the one that attacks the aliens, the skeleton fish, and the oyster to max my money.

Lauren: I like the octopus that swims around picking up goodies for you.

Heather: I hope we can have a pet shark or killer whale.

Lauren: The pet shark was kind of a letdown. He eats guppies!

Heather: That’s no fun. I want one that eats aliens!

Lauren: Unfortunately, it’s the aliens that eat you.

Heather: So I’ve noticed. I have a hard time picking between the sea horse to help feed the fish and either the skeleton fish or oyster. I’m all about the benjamins.

Lauren: Sure, me too, but I’m willing to sacrifice instant gratification for greater long-term return.

Heather: Both.

I like the surprise of the pets, but that potion thing made me nuts!!!

Lauren: Oh gosh, the potions that you drop and no one eats so they crash on the floor?

Heather: They make certain guppies drop stars, but I’m not sure how big they need to be to use it.

Lauren: I didn’t have any luck with the potions until I hatched the dolphin pet that tells you when your fish are getting hungry before they start looking peakish.

Heather: That’s helpful.

Lauren: Yeah, some of the levels it took me a while to figure out how to keep some of those hugely expensive fish alive!

Heather: I still don’t know what kills the little octopus.

Lauren: The little octopus that eats stars?

Heather: I thought it was coins, too. Maybe that’s the problem… I didn’t have any stars.

Lauren: Stars seem to make it happy. The first time I bought one it died in about 15 seconds and I was ticked to be out all that money!

Heather: Do you know what the blue fish with the crown means?

Lauren: Super king fish? Well, it’s prettier than the garden variety gold guppy, and it drops diamonds. Which actually makes me think it’s a queen guppy.

Heather: Queen it is.

I hate that alien you can’t shoot.

Lauren: Oooh, the hungry alien is bad. I hate the butcher octopus, too.

Heather: The butcher octopus? I didn’t get that far.

Lauren: Just wait until you hit the rock-looking alien that shoots little white balls that kill ALL your fish. Seriously annoying.

Heather: Kills all the FISH!!!

I’m curious to see what weapon I have to buy to kill that big brown alien that the lasers don’t work on. I think I bought 5 or 6 upgrades and nothing.

Lauren: Food! You make him overeat to death. He does look a little like the Stay-Puft marshmallow man.

Heather: Yes, he does!

Iris was laughing at me because I sitting on the couch playing, and yelling at the aliens.

Lauren: Yelling at the aliens is a totally reasonable and understandable response.

Heather: I do think “Insaniquarium” is the perfect name.

Lauren: It sure is insanely addictive!

Heather: It is. I was playing a bit at work this afternoon.

Lauren: I don’t think I could manage that without drawing way too much attention to what I was doing.

Heather: I have my own office, and it was later in the afternoon. I do have to watch about getting too sucked in, because then I’ll go back to the yelling at aliens thing.

Lauren: It really does get crazy. When you have 30 fish glubbing for food and attacking aliens and the stylus version of carpal tunnel from all the tapping…

Heather: I just got to an alien that shoots rockets. So, there are angry waterproof robot aliens as well.

Lauren: How does the robot alien not rust?

Heather: It’s waterproof. Or it could be made from a special stainless steel.

Lauren: Alien technology. That’s the answer to everything.

Heather: Of course, the totally-make-believe part plays a role. If not, I don’t think the fish would give us money. Our fish here certainly don’t. Unless the fish are hiding it…

Lauren: Pitch that one to Spielberg.

Heather: They are pretty cute. Plus, this snail moves much faster than the one we had.

Lauren: The backgrounds are good, too. Everything is very fun.

Heather: I love the backgrounds… nice detail, and the colors are very vibrant.

Lauren: Well, I don’t want to keep you up too late, but I think it’s pretty fair to say that we both really enjoyed the game?

Heather: I would agree with that.

I like that there are sub-levels within each big level. I think that is something they need to mention. Four levels doesn’t sound like a lot, but in reality, it’s about 16 levels.

Lauren: Also I think the game is very replayable. When you get to the end, you could start over and have almost as much fun a second time around.

Heather: I could easy play for hours with no problems. There are enough different choices that you could try out quite a few different strategies. You and I take two different approaches, looking at getting money and growing our fish.

Lauren: Very true. Playing again with different pets would make the levels seem totally different.

Heather: Only a little crazy…

Lauren: Says the person who was yelling at the aliens.

Heather: Alien yelling is completely acceptable… especially when they eat, like, 10 fish.

They could do a spinoff of this game with hamsters or at the zoo.

Lauren: HAMSTERS?

Heather: Lizards could work. Plus aliens, of course. Could there be tiny dinosaurs?

Lauren: Totally. They could be the unlockable pets. Hey, I wonder if the developers are reading this?

Heather: Dinosaurs are cool.

Lauren: Dinosaurs and aliens would be even cooler.

Heather: Yeah, I like my odds better with aliens vs. dinosaurs than fish. At least the dinos have a chance. I think we are really onto something here.

Insaniquarium gets 2 giant thumbs and 2 big toes up!!!

Lauren: You bet!

Vital Stats: Insaniquarium Deluxe is $19.95 for Windows Mobile touchscreen, Windows Mobile smartphone, and Palm OS devices. You can get it from Astraware or here at the JAMM store.

All screenshots courtesy of Astraware.

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