ilium has some great SW, I’d like the latest version of newsbreak.

My friend came over the other day to help me lay carpet in my new place. We were almost done and I went to my garage to put some tools away. While I was gone, my friend wanted a smoke and found out that his cigarettes were missing.
He looked around and saw a bump in the carpet and figured that his cigarettes must have fallen out while we were laying carpet.
Instead of telling me, or lifting up the carpet to try and get them out, he took out his hammer and started hammering the bump flat so that I wouldn’t find out what he did.
I came into the room just as he was done. We’d worked hard and I was glad to have such a great and handy friend to help me out.

As I patted him on the back I said to him, “Thanks for your help bro, and here are your cigarettes; I found them in the garage near my tool chest. Oh and by the way, have you seen my Iphone?”

Love that Ilium software. I already own ListPro and NewsBreak, eWallet would be a nice addition!

Favorite joke (this week…)

Chicken little gets hit on the head with an acorn… He runs up to the farmer and yells “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”

The farmer looks at him and says:

“Holy Crap – A talking chicken!!!”

I already have List pro and e wallet. Could always use a new reader though so News Break would be great.

The guys at Ilium make absolutely great software.
I would love to have any of these applications.
thanks.

I’ve got a really old version of eWallet that will not sync anymore and i’d love to have a new version before i can’t get to my “valuables” anymore……….

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

He was dead.

No, really, this OLD guy was walking in the forrest and he saw a frog. The frog yelled to him, “Pick me up and kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful bride!”
The old man looked confused, so the frog repeated, “Pick me up and kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful bride!”
The old man grabbed the frog and put him in is pocket, and the frog said, “Hey, I said if you kissed me I’d turn into a beautiful bride! What are you doing!?”
The old man said, “Look, at my age, what I really need is a talking frog.”

And the best April Fools was this guy I was training to tattoo was so happy to have the apprenticeship, so I called him at home that morning to tell him that it just wasn’t working out. It’s an old joke, so I figured it wouldn’t go far. Of course I played it up until he started crying. He was pretty thick. That was too funny.

Great Software!!!

I would love List Pro. I’m overwhelmed by our softball and baseball and school schedule…need to empty my brain somewhere! Thanks, JAMM!

JOKES:

My 6 year old LOVES this joke. Picture a six year old saying it:

“Two boys are in a boat, Pete and Repeat. Pete falls out. Who’s left?”
Answer: “Repeat”

Okay, so he tells it again… “Two boys are in a boat…” then he laughs and laughs even though you’ve already heard it 600 times!

His other favorite:

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Nobody.
Nobody who?
(you hear crickets, at least until he can’t stand it and has to explain to you that nobody’s there so that’s why he’s not responding!!!)

They are the highlight of my day. Enjoy!

Oh yeah! Best April Fools was putting bubble wrap under the bathroom mat!!

I would love either Ewallet or Newsbreak. I have used Listpro for a long time and really like it.

Would love a copy of the excellent eWallet

And unfortunately, I don’t have any good jokes to share :\

Please count me in on this contest. Iliumsoft has some great software.

Thanks.

I would like a copy of eWallet. Tried it and loved it!

Best prank: A big group of friends picked up a car that was parked on the street and moved it into someone’s driveway.

I’m for Newsbreak.

Best prank: A lecturer known for eccentricity telling class that “due to technological advances, a test will be conducted on April 1 by SMS, and students should ensure they have enough credits on their phones to complete the 15 multi-choice questions test”.

Best joke: A girl is asked out by a dude. She agrees and they go to the coffee shop. Middle of dinner, she says “i’m bored”. He says, “so am I”.