For a visionary genius, Bill Gates can be kind of dumb sometimes. I saw an AP story in my local paper this morning that practically made me spew my OJ. Apparently, Microsoft is betting that in five years we’re going to be doing more searches using voice input than keyboards. Pretty soon we won’t be using keyboards at all.

Does that sound like a really, really bad idea to anyone else?

Okay, it would cut down on unsavory searches at work. But there are lots of good things about typing on keyboards. Think about all those dramatic scenes in movies where the hero sneakily opens the bad guy’s laptop while evil henchmen are patrolling outside. But there’s no keyboard! The hero says, "Delete all files on World Domination." Computer: "I heard, ‘Delete all files on World Domination.’ Is that right? Say yes or no. If you would like me to repeat this message, say repeat. If you would like to hear this message in Spanish, say Espanol. To set off a loud alarm, say alarm." Hero: "Uh…" Computer: "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Point is, sometimes a little privacy is nice when you’re working. Voice is great for some things, but Microsoft can have my keyboard when they pry it from my cold, dead hands. I don’t care how good voice recognition technology gets, in most of the ways I work that’s not how I want to interact with my computer. And if most of the world didn’t agree with me, businesses would have figured that out and I wouldn’t have a choice. Give it up, Bill.

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